Gavin Green on the plight of the modern 4×4

Updated: 26 January 2015

After not driving any SUV for six months, suddenly – like the buses they are sometimes compared to – four of them come along at once.

First up was the Ford Kuga. This was the best to drive of the quartet, and my mate who owns a Range Rover TDV8 says when he gets old and can’t afford to run a Range Rover any more, one of these will do nicely, thank you very much. 

Ford builds the best-driving mass-made cars on the market so little wonder its first proper European 4×4 is the sharpest handling SUV in the sector. But it is no more designed for off-road than is a Rolls-Royce. So, as with all pseudo SUVs, I wonder what is the point of all that ground clearance and that high centre of gravity and heavy 4×4 hardware, if it can’t do a Rambo in the rough. Also, the Kuga isn’t any more practical than an estate. Give me a Mondeo wagon or a Focus hatch, and a better driving experience, any time.

Next up: a BMW X1

I then drove a BMW X1, a car I was sure I would hate, given how disappointing an X3 is. I didn’t. It handles, steers and goes nicely, looks neat and was practical. It’s also very good value for a BMW, similar money to the same-size Kuga. If you’re thinking of buying an X3, don’t. Buy this instead.

But the Kuga drives better than an X1 and looks better too – yet another example of Ford outgunning BMW in driver appeal and style. Plus, how many cuts of the SUV sausage does BMW need? Four (X1, X3, X5 and X6) seems extravagant.

The old-school 4x4s

Then I drove two 4x4s that are proper 4x4s, and liked them both much better. Call me a traditionalist, but 4x4s should be able to wade streams, climb grassy hills and tip-toe over rocks. Otherwise, what is the point? I don’t necessarily want a mountain goat or a tank – but I do want some all-terrain capability when I buy all-wheel drive hardware and its associated costs, the stilt-like stance and the other on-road compromises. Buying a 4×4 that can’t go bush is like buying a low-slung sports car that can’t go round corners fast.

The new Land Rover Discovery 4 is a more refined update of the Disco 3. Its style religiously follows the form-follows-function ornamentation-is-a-crime school of design loved by the likes of Walter Gropius (of Bauhaus fame), Alvar Aalto and Mies van der Rohe. It works for me.

The new Disco is not as sharp to steer as a Kuga or an X1 (let alone a Cayenne or an X5) – but then, if they’re your priorities, don’t buy an SUV. Rather, it is a vehicle of enormous capability and versatility that can play refined on-road executive car while displaying extraordinary off-road dexterity. It can also seat seven in comfort. No other car can do all this.

Then it was the Land Cruiser

Finally, I drove a vehicle that never gets much praise from British hacks. The Toyota Land Cruiser has always been a bit of an oddball in the UK and this new model is no more suited to typical British conditions than a camel is to Clapham. But in Australia, where I was brought up – and in Africa and the Middle East – the Land Cruiser is a hero car, loved by Aboriginals and Bedouin, the Kikuyu and the Zulu, as much as white adventurers. It is the modern ship of the desert, the all-terrain workhorse, the Iron Man of motoring, a car of character and unmatched integrity, a vehicle you see in places where X5s and MLs and Cayennes fear to tread.

As a 17-year old, newly licensed, I drove one – a two-door short wheelbase FJ40, in dune beige with a white roof – across Australia. I loved that car, just as I like all old Land Cruisers. As with trad Land Rovers, they are single-mindedly built for purpose. I admire cars like that.

On road, the new Land Cruiser is cruder than the Discovery 4 – more unsettled rigid rear axle ride, noisier four-pot diesel engine. I wouldn’t recommend one over the same-money Disco for those who use their cars in the shires or the suburbs. But for the toughest off-road adventures, there is no more honest or reassuring vehicle.

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By Rowan Atkinson

Actor, motoring fanatic, part-time racing driver - and former CAR columnist

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