Vauxhall Insignia 2.0 CDTI (2008) CAR review and video

Something terrible happened to me back in April, on the M25 near Egham. I was behind the wheel of a special offer from Enterprise Rent-a-Car – a Vauxhall Vectra hatch, in light metallic grey. It was only about £35 for the day, plus taxes and insurance and some other stuff I didn't understand. My memory is a little hazy, but it was definitely automatic and probably diesel. Anyway, there I was, cruising quietly along, counting up how many shades of grey there were in the cabin. Then it happened. So suddenly I didn't even notice it. With a short sigh and a shrug, I completely lost the will to live. Gone, just like that. A few minutes later I stopped at the BP garage at the end of the Egham bypass. I could still hardly be bothered to inhale and exhale, so completely had the Vectra voided me of any hope or purpose in my futile existence. I did what people always annoyingly suggest when you lose something – I tried to remember where I had last put it. I checked the cup holders, but they could barely hold cups, let alone metaphysical concepts. Even after I figured out which armrest button opened which armrest storage box, I didn't find anything other than a biro. At this point I knew there wasn't much hope for me. My heart couldn't be bothered to pump anymore and I was slowly turning into the sixth shade of grey in the cabin when a miracle occurred. I could feel myself leaving my body and floating along a tunnel towards a bright light. As I got closer to the light I heard a voice calling out "Dave! Dave!" My name isn't Dave, but I realise now in retrospect that Dave is the name of the idealised customer in Vauxhall's D-segment market research. As my eyes became accustomed to the brightness of the light, I realised I was looking down upon a Vectra. Only it wasn't a Vectra. Inside the cabin, the instruments glowed red. For no apparent reason. And in addition to all the shades of grey, there were some streaks of shiny silver plastic as well. I blinked as I took in the Vectra's new silhouette. There was a sort of Bangle Butt slash Honda Legend tail, BMW-aping side fluting and a hint of Hoffmeister kink. The nose was sculpted from a fusion of Audi and BMW you could mistake for an Avensis. All beautifully melded into a completely original coupe shape. Original for Mercedes, that is, five years ago. My heart leaped as I realised I was being offered a tantalising glimpse of the future. That soon I would be driving a car so advanced of the current Vauxhall Vectra that it would be given a new name. It would still be a Vauxhall, unfortunately, but they would find some other word ending in 'a' for us to associate with sales reps and poor residuals. And in that moment I knew that I was not about to die. Because I had already long since passed away into the first circle of Vauxhall-driving hell. I would continue to tour the M25 in a car with overly firm suspension, in seats of upholstered concrete. But now at every opportunity I would tell people how I was driving 'the best looking car in its class by some margin, according to Tim Pollard in the prestigious Car magazine'. And that, somehow, made everything so much worse.

No wonder why GM is laying off workers by the thousands.They should first fire the whole marketing dept. Come on, its a nice car lots of potencial just waiting to be unleased. Give it a decent 3000 cc TDI engine 250 BHP some spirited suspension, decent extras and you have a winner. You should build a BMW 535 clone for the asking money, not a Lada clone for a couple of thousand less.