► Top tips to help you enjoy Le Mans
► Advice on what to take and where to go
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Travelling down
Boulogne toll
If you’ve come from Calais by sea or tunnel, it’s always worth a leg stretch at the Boulogne toll, because it’s a great place to watch cars blasting off on their trip south, because after that everyone gets spread out so some of the atmosphere can be dissipated. There’s usually a load of like-minded buffoons taking pics and cheering everyone on their way which is fun. The major roadworks which ruined it last year have been cleared now, too.
The French police
First off, don’t panic. There’s always lots of stories about our French friends and their endless speed traps trying to catch out plucky Brits and fleece them of their cash. On the Thursday, that’s certainly not the case.
If you take the A28 autoroute down it’s generally very quiet. I spotted one bloke in camo gear pointing something at us from a bush near Neufchatel-en-Bray. He might have been a copper, or he might just have been a weirdo. What he was holding, I dread to think. A small baguette, perhaps…
It’s certainly slightly more heavily policed on the Friday, and the N roads offer more scope for random infractions with the locales, but if you imagine there was a major event in Woking involving 100,000 Frenchmen turning up in their cars intending to get very drunk for three or four days, our police might get fairly interested too. As it happens, the French police are pretty chilled, despite the guns.
At Le Mans, the police are fairly passive and relaxed, as long as you don’t do burnouts down the main road through Arnage.
Rouen
Once, possibly back when Derek Bell was in his pomp, there was a fire on a bridge in Rouen. It was closed and the resulting diversion was a major pain. Last year, finally, the bridge reopened again after a rebuilding programme of quite amazing sloth. It makes the trip through the city easier, but it is all relative as Rouen is still an interminable warren of roads. Why don’t they build a bypass? It’s not like they don’t have the space.
The alternative is to hook right north of Rouen towards Yvetot and go over the very nice bridge (not been on fire) at Caudebecquet. It’s slightly longer, but offers some welcome A road action after all the autoroute.
At Le Mans
Mad Friday – Arnage
Arnage on the Friday used be tremendous: crowds lined the road, drinking and cheering as a line of fabulous cars laden with camping kit made their way into the circuit. Lots of engine revving ensued, although one chap refused to rev his F40 ‘because it’s my dad’s car’, and he left as red-faced as his paintwork as dozens of people heckled. I tried to feel sorry for him.
Then it all started to get a bit out of hand with water pistols not filled with water but other liquid, and a spot of streaking too. Not all petrolheads have bodies like David Gandy. It was not pretty, and the police now pay much closer attention to what’s going on there. It still a top spot for a steak, chips and beer though in one of the roadside bars.
Mad Friday – Houx
The result of heavier police presence is that ‘Mad Friday’ is confined to the far side of the camping sections, near the Houx campsite. It used to centre around the roundabout there, but seems to have been shunted down to the straight piece of road, for obvious safety reasons. It was a massive accident waiting to happen. It’s still mad though. Try and avoid it if you don’t like your car’s tyres studded with broken beer bottles.
Parade and the town centre
Le Mans has a very swanky tram system running from near the football stadium between Houx and Tetre Rouge. Something quite remarkable has happened: on the Friday of the parade in town, they very efficiently put on lots of extra transport for the thousands who make the trip to make it as easy as possible to get in and out of the city. No queuing, no wondering if you’ll ever get back to the campsite again. For those that have been to Le Mans in the past and found travelling anywhere a gridlocked impossibility, it’s fabulous.
It’s also worth the trip in for three very simple reasons: having solid, dust-free ground under your feet for a few hours, a cold beer that doesn’t cost the earth in a (potentially) air-conditioned room, and working toilets. Luxury.
Oh, and the old town area around Le Mans cathedral is utterly beautiful. Take one picture on your phone to prove to your wife (or husband) you did the culture bit as well, like I do.
Scrotes
If you’re on one of the public campsites, never leave any valuables in your tent, as local scrotes may nick them while you’re away. A mate of mine had his favourite shorts and a couple of pairs of pants stolen from his tent – on his birthday too. He reckoned they were valuable, but somewhere in Le Mans a scrote is wearing a very tight, nut hugging, 25 year old pair of rugby shorts. I’m not sure who came out of that better.
Eating and toilet paper
To survive the weekend, you will need to eat. This usually means Merguez sausages, bread, crisps and beer. If you can find a vegetable to add into the diet, well done.
It may well not be the case this year, but most years the big supermarket near Arnage and the one at Mulsanne close on a Sunday. After all, it’s not like there are 150,000 people who are out of sausages, beer and toilet paper by that point.
But have no fear. There’s a little 24 hour store in the village of Ruaudin that supplies essentials – a sausagey, beery, toilet papery oasis among the madness and desolation. Just don’t tell anyone else. Let’s keep it our little secret.
Start of the race
If you want a good viewing spot for the start, you need to pitch up early. But the beauty of Le Mans, unlike some other major motorsport I could mention, is that it’s not all about what happens at the first corner, followed by a two hour procession. And as it’s a long lap, it takes quite a bit of time for the field to spread and the action to really get going. So it’s nice to see the start, but it’s not the end of the world if you find yourself stood behind 163 six-foot-three Dutchmen in Viking helmets waving Tom Kristensen flags the size of a table tennis table. Your time will come
Night viewing
With the Mulsanne Straight closed off to all but marshalls, safety crews, a handful of VIPs and the odd intrepid racegoer who has climbed a few garden fences, one of the best places to see the cars performing at night in the Indianapolis and Arnage sections where there is some seating and food/bars. Apparently the viewing area has been improved this year, so it could be a great spot to see the cars sweeping through the kinks in the dark.
Otherwise, it’s pretty cool to stand on the edge of the inside of Tetre Rouge, right on the end of the mound and watch as they blast away into the night and the start of Mulsanne
Radio
Although the WEC now has a fancy app, and there’s Twitter too, 150,000 people all trying to access a 3G phone signal at the same time renders Le Mans a communications gridlock. There are usually teenagers wandering round selling earpieces for Radio Le Mans on old fashioned FM at something like 10 Euros. It seems expensive, but is invaluable: up to the second commentary, interviews and stats. How they keep talking for all that time, I have no idea.
Beware the Porsche Curves
First things first: the Porsche Curves are a bloody long walk from the grandstand area. It doesn’t look it on a map though. Make sure you have enough beer or wine or chips for the journey. And when you get there, I always think the viewing isn’t great. But perhaps I’ve always ended up at the wrong spot, and have run out of beer.
End of the race
Lots of people leave as the race finishes, but that misses a great Le Mans tradition as the track opens and thousands swarm down the main straight and pit area. It’s a great atmosphere. Standing on the bend looking up the hill towards the Dunlop Curves is an awe-inspiring sight.
There’s still plenty happening on the Sunday evening – even just a chilling round a camp fire, and that means a leisurely drive back Monday without the traffic jams and the congested, tired and emotional hell of the tunnel and the ports.
And finally…
If you’re planning an early start on the Monday, make sure you have enough fuel to get a decent distance up the road. The first service on the autoroute doesn’t open until 6am, or whenever the attendant wandering about aimlessly inside having a cocking coffee finally decides to switch the pumps on. It’s quite annoying sitting there for 30 minutes as the silly sod studiously ignores you. Or so I hear…
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